when my heart says so..

what is it that you want, mom?
what things that you haven't done that always makes me cry?
what is it inside of you, mom?
do you have any kind of unconditional love for me, your own daughter?

have i ever done anything that hurts you, so you put it there for me?
have i ever asked too much like any other daughter ask to their moms that makes you upset so much?
have i ever asked a thing, a single thing, that makes you cry a lot of tears?
did i make any mistake to you?
do i don't deserve to have your love, like any other daughter have?
do i don't deserve to have a mom, a single one, who'll fight for me?

but you haven't done anything to make me real proud, mom..
after more than 15 years, you've never been there for me.
after those years, i walked alone without a guide that fulfill me with a mother love.
after those times, i'm trying my best to stand on my own, to survive, to learn to go through every unhappy conditions, without you, WITHOUT YOU.
after all those years, you've never come to visit me, to see how i'm doing, to see me grow.

and now, there you are..
with your kids, and a loving husband (i hope so).
happily inside, in so many tense.
can't you see the fact, mom?
by saying what you're asking, you've just hurting me.
you fight for them, but never for me..
never!
not even once..
NOT EVEN ONCE.

that's why i'm letting you go, mom.
and now i think, daddy was right, it was not all his fault that make you runaway from us,
but also, you have no huge love to make you stay with us.
and i'm so sorry because i have to say that mom,
that things, the day you're left, it was a real pain for me, my brother and dad..
for that experience you gave me, i thank you very much.
if you're satisfied with that fact, congrate then, you're on the air..

it was so painful to hear how you ask me to do things that i'm not involve on it at all.
it was so painful, like i was there, being alone and feeling that i'm the one who deserve to be dumpt.
well, mom... i love you enough but i have my own life the same as you have yours.
what if we go on with our own, without interupting each others life.

i feel really sorry, you put me in this hard position..